Frequently Asked Questions

Below are answers to ten questions I anticipate you may have. If I haven't answered them here, please don't hesitate to contact me and I will do my best to answer them.

Do I have to believe certain things to enter Spiritual Direction?

No. Spiritual Direction is about your journey, and the crossroads of Directee's and Director's paths, not the Director's journey. I believe the Divine connects to us all, and Spiritual Direction is a practice that draws awareness to how that is taking place. We can work together to find language that resonates with you. If you aren't sure what you believe, or you don't believe in any higher power, I am available to help you navigate your spiritual health.

You may, however, feel more comfortable with someone who approximately shares your beliefs, or your culture, or your background. Through the ups and downs of my own spiritual journey, I am still a follower of Christ, and I understand that may cause a barrier for some Directees. There are many Spiritual Directors to choose from at Spiritual Directors International, and I would be happy to assist you in finding a Director with whom you feel most comfortable.

What can I expect an appointment to be like?

Ahead of your first appointment, I'll send you a few open-ended questions to help get you started.

When we meet, either online or in person, I'll greet you and briefly check in with you before we start. You may have something pressing on your mind you want to name or a question you want to ask, and we can take care of that first. Then we'll have a short time of silence - centering prayer - after which you'll be free to start talking when you feel ready.

You may choose to respond to some of those open-ended questions, or you may have something else entirely that you want to explore. If you choose to sit in silence, I will sit with you.

As you talk, I will listen. I may ask a clarifying question to make sure I'm understanding you correctly. I'll listen for themes or patterns and offer them back to you. If I notice a significant moment as you're sharing, I might pause us so we don't rush past what you shared.

Toward the end of our hour together, I will ask if there's anything else you'd like to share, or if it feels like an okay place to pause for the moment. I'll sum up what I heard from you or what I noticed in our time together. We'll spend another short moment in silence to rest and close out our session.

At that point we might opt to schedule our session for the next month.

What does it cost?

I charge $70 for an hour's session, though I have a sliding scale down to $40. If that is still cost-prohibitive to you, please do not let that be a deterrent. We can have a conversation and attempt to find a solution.

What is the commitment?

I recommend meeting once a month for three months and then making a decision if you'd like to continue after that. We may decide to have the first two sessions closer together, so we can get past the introductory session. You are free to stop meeting at any point; I'd only ask that you let me know so I can make sure to release that time to another Directee.

Is it like therapy?

Spiritual Direction and therapy/counseling have some things in common - you come for a regular appointment and spend an hour talking to someone who will listen deeply to you.

The benefit of Spiritual Direction is that it is a time set aside to focus particularly on your spiritual life and health. We can take the time to explore your spiritual history, paradigms, and traditional meanings. We can unpack questions and remove roadblocks in your pursuit of connection with God.

It is not, however, a replacement for therapy/counseling with a licensed therapist. Unless a Spiritual Director has also obtained an appropriate license they should not be diagnosing or prescribing anything to a Directee, and even then it should be in the context of the appropriate appointment. If recurring issues come up in Spiritual Direction appointments that are beyond the scope of Spiritual Direction, I will always recommend seeking professional help of that nature. Threats of harm to self or others require me to report and seek intervention; I do take those seriously, as I want you and others to be safe.

I've decided to look for a Spiritual Director. What should I look for?

There are two main areas to consider when choosing a Spiritual Director. First, is there evidence the Spiritual Director is following ethical practices? Secondly, do you and the Spiritual Director sense this is a good fit?

Ethical practices in Spiritual Directors should be evident through a few markers. An ethical Spiritual Director:

Has attended a training program (usually 2-3 years in length)
Attends regular Direction appointments with their own Director
Regularly meets with a Supervisor or participates in Peer Supervision
Commits to their own spiritual formation and development
Exhibits a balanced lifestyle.

The community of Spiritual Directors has chosen not to employ a license/certificate model for their practice, as it inevitably would create barriers for Directees whose needs lay outside whatever licensing bodies end up constructing.

However in addition to the above, guidelines of ethical practice for Spiritual Directors may be found here.

Regarding whether you and a Spiritual Director are a good fit - this is why I recommend meeting at least three times. Over those three meetings, ask yourself some questions:

Has there been a sense of connection with the Divine?
Do I feel understood and seen by this Spiritual Director?
Do they exhibit maturity in their own spiritual journey that is inviting to me?
What is my gut telling me?

How do you get to be a Spiritual Director?

You may come to the practice of Spiritual Direction if you feel drawn towards meeting with people one-on-one to listen to and value their journey. For this question, I will direct you to the program I attended (although there are many all over the world).

How do you address the needs of BIPOC persons in Spiritual Direction?

I believe decolonization of our faith in belief and practice is a major part of the spiritual journey, and I am committed to seeking God as I continue this process in myself. I would would welcome you into the Direction space with me. It is my conviction that cross cultural connection and relationship-building (on both micro- and macro- scale) are vital to see Divine Love on display in the world. I would love to serve you in direction, and I also understand and encourage people to feel empowered to connect to their own indigenous spiritual practices as a fully embodied expression of Christ. If you would prefer someone who more closely shares your lived experience, I am happy to assist you in finding another Spiritual Director.

I'm a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Will I be welcome in Spiritual Direction?

Yes.

I acknowledge I am still growing in how best to be affirming, but I am committed to this growth process and would welcome your presence in the Direction space. I welcome any questions you have too, as I understand many under this umbrella have experienced painful treatment in faith communities. There is so much to explore with the Divine when it comes to a person's identity, and queerness is no exception to that experience. It is my hope we could be a blessing to each other on the journey.

How does your Christian faith show up in how you practice spiritual direction?

My faith has changed and grown over the years, but I am a Christian first and foremost because I am in Christ and Christ is in me. I believe in Jesus' life, death, and resurrection, and the presence of the Holy Spirit that dwells with and inside us as individuals and as a community. The deconstruction process in my own life has left me with a profound gratitude for Scripture, Christian spiritual practices, and community that transcends the four walls of church buildings.

Christianity symbol - religious fish shape drawn in sand. Catholicism fish - ichthus..jpg

Caraid Anam